Dreaming Big in a Plan It Out kind of World

I’m a planner. I like to have every date in a calendar, every deadline written down, and every life goal executed in perfect timing. I like to understand the how’s and why’s, and I love the feeling of completing something perfectly on time.

I’m also super analytical (which def comes in handy as a math major BUTTT that’s not what we’re talking bout)! I love figuring out puzzles, and helping people with problems, and studying people’s behaviors! I criticize and I compliment!

Now both of these attributes, the analysis and the perfectionism, can be understood through my ONE-ness (for all you enneagram lovers out there) and they are things that I’ve always been aware of in myself!! They are qualities that can be totally beneficial in my day to day life, but they can also be terrible weaknesses of mine!! They can mean that I plan more than participate and that I analyze more than appreciate! This negative side of these character traits is something that I’ve only recently started to understand about myself.

When I was just 12 years old, the Lord gave me my first dream for the future. Being the perfectionist and critical person that I am, even at just 12, I instantly dismissed that dream as unrealistic, unachievable, and well just a dream. Almost 3 years later, the Lord gave me another dream, this time verbally. Yet again, being the analytical person that I am, I questioned the power of this dream, its authenticity, and its ability to come to fruition in my life. I didn’t understand this dream, but this time I was going to figure it out. So I did everything in my power to turn all the switches and make all the changes in hopes that this dream would become reality. This, my friends, did not work. Not because the dream wasn’t real, but because I was trying to make it into work, not pursue it with pleasure.

After 4 more years of doubting my dreams and trying to plan my whole life in perfect chronological and logistical order, God rocked my world. This time when He gave me a dream, it wasn’t a little intuition or a small whisper, but instead a vision, a glimpse into my future life, a vivid moment of clarity and vivacity. This time, I wasn’t going to ignore it or try to arrange every detail. I was going to embrace it and claim it. This time was different. This dream was different. This was the moment the Lord turned me on my head and shook me around a little bit so that I could see his power and his plan. I could see that my dreams were his dreams, and they weren’t simply dreams but instead callings of Love and Life.

Since that moment in March of 2018, I have been working on me. As cliché as that sounds, it really is a day to day battle. Its waking up every day with the intention not to go knocking on every door available, but instead trusting that the Lord is opening the doors I need. Its discovering how my planning and analysis can be beneficial and progressive. Its discovering that I also have other traits and gifts that make me equipped to live every day as a new opportunity. Its having faith to pursue my dreams and follow God’s plan, even when I don’t understand it or am scared of it. Its not knowing. Its taking one day at a time. Its loving and living, not on a mission, but for a dream.

Its Speaking Life, every day.

“This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.”

‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭2:3‬ ‭

So if you’re like me, if you struggle with dreams and you would much rather write it all out in your planner, here’s a challenge! Start waking up with the mission to live for a dream! This world will try to tell us that we aren’t fitting the status quo, or that our live doesn’t fit the mold it expects us to fit in, but that doesn’t matter. We were never meant to belong to this world or it’s expectations! So if you have a dream, dream it!!