You are who you Follow

Follow. Friend request. Scroll. Search. Scroll some more. We’re all doing it. Some of us for hours and hours a day. It is probably even how you found this blog post. It’s a part of our daily lives, our society, our relationships, and if we’re honest maybe even a small part of our identity.

Social media. We aren’t gonna escape it. So how do we take control of it rather than let it have power over us?

First and foremost we need to realize that we have no obligation to be present on social media and our identity is not found in the number of followers or likes we have. Second and almost as important is that we must acknowledge that we will become what we follow.

Study after study have revealed that you will become the average of the 5 people closest to you. If this is the case for the physically present people in our lives, it must also be true for the people and pages we follow on social media, right? With all the celebrities, influencers, news pages, friends of friends, and of course the people we actually know, there are a lot of voices floating around on our feeds. There are voices of those we admire, those we agree with, those we disagree with, and those we are hearing but aren’t listening to.

Over the last 6 months I have found myself spending an overwhelming amount of time on social media. And in all the scrolling I became really aware of the people and pages I was following. How were they responding to world events? How were they treating others? How were they presenting themselves? And part of me was thankful for all the voices and for how different they were. I was able to learn from them and to feel less alone knowing other people were feeling the same way as me. But the other part of me was disappointed in my social media community. The people I was constantly seeing on my feed weren’t all showing grace, they weren’t always willing to learn or change, and some were blatantly mean or degrading. And this negativity was what I was filling my brain with every single day. And the more I filled myself with this negativity, the more I was becoming negative and anxious myself. So it had to change.

I started using the unfollow button. I started muting accounts. I started setting timers on my social media accounts. I started to create brain barriers separating the social media world form the actual physical people in my life. And I noticed a difference. I was happier, less anxious, more connected to my actual friends and family, and generally more receptive to new knowledge or ways of thinking.

The same way we are who we surround ourselves with, we are who we follow. Now I’m not saying that you should only follow people exactly like you or delete all pages that talk about controversy. And I’m not saying that social media is all bad. I firmly believe in the importance of hearing other people’s perspectives and opinions. And I absolutely love social media for allowing me to connect with people or places I wouldn’t have normally. What I am saying is that we can’t let social media control us. We can’t be identified only by our internet present. We can’t be informed only by the stories we are scrolling through. We can’t give all our brain space to a distant world filled with distant people. So in a world of influencers and millions of followers and millions more voices, be yourself and make connections that will make you a better version of yourself.